Addison's writings

rushing through my eyes gaze

a heart intertwined with my own

lips connect the shadows daze

as wild eyes come to be known

your scent deepens under my skin

divided lines of these souls regress

you enlighten---words to others thin

these doting eyes your lips impress

sitting the the am's dark quandry

trapped within questions self-denied

with memories and faces left soon behind

not knowing what was really on the other side

sitting in self denials stark epitome

forget me soon, please
I cannot take the abuse
let me go on with ease
loving you has no use

let my face dissolve
the dust will carry me away
all my problems--solved
my "death" will lead the way

being nothing to you
is freedom for me
for anything I do
is void--you see?

I have no choice
but to disappear
I will have no voice
but will not fear

for I see within this frame
I need none to be me

Written just a few days ago at a very common place.
Thank you for the banter.

PART 1
warmth has it's price
life--it's choice
to let people read my thoughts
or fall away and hope
one will psychically understand
an interior struggle so huge
a rampant non-existence
buried within flesh and bone

This night is cold and lonely
my heart is tired and untrue
I don't know where to fall
when this sickness turns blue

"I can
I can
I cannot deal!"
......................................................

What do you want?
Do you want my soul?
I can give you minutes, hours, days, but not my soul.
I can give you a shoulder, some ears, but not my soul.
I can give you love, warmth, and security, but not my soul.
No, that is one thing you cannot even borrow.

Don't you remember when I gave you this soul?
You promised that you'd never let it go.

On the Street..
The world under my feet
and a rock in my chest
I just saw the end
a crime of hatred

Just minutes earlier..

On the street
a man was beat
for who he is..
a homosexual man
It was a crime of hatred
On the street
I saw his feet
walk to the beat
and they saw his swagger
Thank god there was no knife
for then
it would have been a life
they took
and not just blood they took

Who am I?

I believe I am undefinable
Yet, I was squeezed into a tight cavity
lifting myself--I'm stuck
in this little tooth
of who you think I am

I try to be un denyable
Yet, I am thrown to a place of ragged extremity
I try to walk--shards of glass
in this tiny world
of who you think I am

I try to take a breath
Yet, my face is covered by a plastic non-descript bag
I try to gasp-- lack of oxygen

He smiles and changes the subject
bright white to pitch dark
this is a subject I didn't bring
I didn't spark this fire in him
Why does he want to jump at me?
Why does this have to begin?
The End Begins

We tried to fix our little quarrells
We tried to not bite back with our morals
What I did wrong
His burden to bare
When he went awry
I was aware
Why does this have to begin?
The End Begins

With her chin leading the way
a compass on the inner eye
cheeks that burn with excitement
and where eyes are to lips love leads
--relentlessly--

With her hair discheveled with shapes and textures galore
One eye closed to pronouce the smell a bit more
and manic saturday at an end
( a day that lasted months, my friend)

I am happy to pretend,
that almost every little thing
is going to be alright.

tingling with smiles
if I don't go to sleep
the sansation might hold

giddy first steps
of what could be
within this present dream
of words expressed
of words I want to say

jumping with anticipation
will this glee last?
lovely days
filled with bright skies?

within my minds eye
are many beaches
with tender touches
are many starry nights
with longing eyes

entrapping laughter